Making It A Thankful New year

Think “Thank You”

This is the time of year when we traditionally think “Thank you.” Often, though not exclusively, these thank you’s are for the material things we have gained. But there is a traditional kindness chant that can extend our thank you’s in profound ways, extend our thank you’s so that we ourselves, those around us, and the world in which we live feel our thank you’s in each and every moment.

For this practice to be effective, we must first believe that the chant is true and then chant it often enough so that it arises spontaneously when unwholesome impulses and temptations arise as well as when wholesome and beneficial events and conditions arise.

If we chant it enough times, it will arise spontaneously and seemingly of its own accord. But first we need to develop an airtight logical explanation for the chant. Actually, several lines of reasoning is better.

Here’s the chant:

Each and every living being is supreme kind to me.

This will only work if you believe it. No exceptions. This isn’t about an act being kind or not, it is about our perspective on that act. If someone gives me something I want, I can see it as kind in that it gives me the opportunity to be grateful and generous in receiving it. If someone does something mean to me, I can see it as kind in that it gives me the opportunity to be patient and to see beyond the superficiality of the act to the underlying suffering that motivated the person to act in that way.

Contemplating this, we discover several lines of reasoning we can use. One, regardless of what someone does to me, I can consider it kind because it is an opportunity for me to strengthen my practice and grow spiritually. If someone does something nasty to me, for example, I can see it as kind because it gives me an opportunity to practice patience. If someone does something particularly nice to me, I can see it as a kindness because it gives me the opportunity to practice humility and modesty.

A second line of reasoning suggests that our basic nature, everything that we think, say and do, is an attempt to end some level of suffering we perceive in ourselves. Understanding that everything we do is about ending some level of discomfort or suffering in us, we soon come to realize that everything everyone does is an act to end their suffering–not necessarily wise or well-reasoned–but an attempt to end their suffering nonetheless.

If all that “they” are doing is attempting to end their suffering, why would I view this as anything but an opportunity for me to practice compassion toward them. Nothing else would seem reasonable. This doesn’t mean I necessarily condone the act, just that my perspective is to see that they are trying, even if unwisely, trying through what they have done to relieve suffering and so it is kind insofar as it allow me to be compassionate under duress.

On a deeply spiritual level, being everything is inherently empty of meaning and value from its own side, I get to decide whether something done to me is good or bad by the way I choose to perceive it. Therfore, if I get to define “duress” in my life, then why don’t I stopped defining things as stressful find another perspective that makes them all as kindnesses?

Believing this chant gives me an outlook that prevents me from getting anxious or angry, fearful or threatened. And that outlook is the framework that my mind can use to stay stable in the face of difficulties, even very great difficulties.

If I can know deeply and understand the chant Each and every living being is supreme kind to me, my intention in each moment will have me do the very best I can with the conditions in front of me. Knowing that I always do the very best I can with what’s happening, I can remain calm with any event or outcome. I can stay positive and without recrimination and guilt when the outcome is other than anticipated. If the outcomes aren’t appropriate, then I can course correct, finding better and new strategies for dealing with the same or similar situations in the future.

Realizing this, that I had, and do always do my best, I remain patient, compassionate and generous, to myself and others. My self-image stays clean and clear and positive without arrogance or conceit. Further, when I generalize this to all other beings, when I realize that no matter how unreasonable or terribly someone may act, they are doing the best they can, my intention will reset me to being kind, patient and compassionate and generous.

Assuming I believe this chant, then I will interpret and filter new information from my senses though intentional structures that lead me to positive wholesome thoughts, speech and action. In fact, they lead me to see the world as a kind place, supportive of me who is making his best effort. The more I practice, the more grateful I become, the more thankful I am for being here, now, connected to everyone and everything.

When I realize that each and every living being is supremely kind to me, I become one with the cooperative underpinnings of the universe. I have no regrets. I have nothing but thank you’s. And the world has nothing but thank you’s.

For all of your readership, practice, and support this year, a deep bow of gratitude and a thank you.

No Regrets, Part 3

Living with No Regrets, Final Part of the Series

I have no regrets and the world has no regrets.

This is the third in an ongoing series

From part two of this series: First, we learn to understand that the information our mind is sending us is false and foolish, mostly pre-cognitive nonsense. Second, we learn to act in ways that make us mindful and aware instead of reflexive and reactive. And third, we commit ourselves to a regular meditation practice so that we can off-load four millions years of false stories (sankharas) that are driving us and the world to regret.

First, we learn to understand that the information our mind is sending us is false and foolish, mostly pre-cognitive impressions. Second, we learn to act in ways that make us mindful and aware instead of reflexive and reactive. And third, we commit ourselves to a regular meditation practice so that we can off-load four millions years of false stories (sankharas) that are driving us and the world to regret.

Our first step to a life without regrets is to not believe the story I tell myself that if I get more of those things that my amygdala likes and less of those it doesn’t like, I will be happy and all will be well in the world. Especially since we can readily see that (1) this doesn’t work–if it did, we’d already have succeeded, and (2) if it were true for me, then I would need to concede it as true for everyone else, which would leave us in such conceit and self-centered anarchy and chaos that we and the world would become nonfunctional nonfunctional.

We do this first step, the learning step, through study, contemplation, and meditation. Those three combine to send signals back to the parasympathetic nervous system to tell it to adjust and change. What do we study? We study sutras and commentaries, most especially on emptiness. There is a vast Buddhist literature on emptiness. If you have specific questions about how or where to access these, or where to find a teacher to guide you, please email me.

Second step, the interconnectedness step, we learn that there is a deep connection between what we do, between how we think about things and behave and whether or not we live in regret. The Noble Eightfold Path is the big picture. It provides the world view and understanding that leads to a life without regrets (right view and right intention); it provides the behavior guidelines, our main concern in this second step (right effort, right speech, right livelihood, right action); and then it enhances those with meditation (right mindfulness and right concentration) which leads to the wisdom that keeps our practice stable and alive.

One some levels, this is just learning the big picture, or the bigger picture, depending on our karma. On other levels, it is about developing the discipline to actuate these understandings and beliefs, which in my own practice usually is the more difficult task.

Step three, which is very closely related to step two, is developing a daily, lifelong mindfulness meditation practice. The single more effective tool for changing to a life without regrets is mindfulness meditation. Mindful alternate nostril breathing, which many students find to be the easier and most effective entry into mindfulness meditation, is also one of the most effective and fast-working tools we have for reversing the signal and telling the primitive brains centers that are controlling us to slow down and become aware of what’s really happening.

To be candid here, this needs to be more than a three-minute centering with a few deep breathe now and then when you’re feeling off kilter. It needs to be a daily practice; such as 10 or 15 minutes twice daily. It needs to be as part of the daily routine as brushing our teeth.

Just following one’s breath is the most common form of mindfulness meditation, but there are many others, and there are variations and modulations for each that can be explored so that your meditation leads you to a concentrated mind. Again, if you have specific questions about how to meditate or how to modulate your meditation to compensate for different levels or activity and stress in your life, or where to find a teacher to guide you, please email me.

Having lead a responsible and compassionate life with no regrets, when death approaches, as it does unfailingly in each moment and each life, we know how to respond–kindly and peacefully. 

No Regrets. Part 2

I have no regrets and the world has no regrets.

This is the second in a series on living without regret

The way the mind processes and allots information to us leaves us, and the world as we see it, filled with regrets–the “I should have done thats” “It would have been better ifs,” etc. The goal of our spiritual path is for us to have no regrets and for the world to have no regrets, not blindly surrender to the directions of the amygdala, that almond shaped mass in the center of our brain which makes us stressed and full of regrets. 

Our goal is to learn how not to be forced to surrender to the neuropeptides that the amygdala releases into our mind and body ramping up our stress and anxiety in a variety of physical responses and psychological responses and reflexes, all of which leave us with regrets. Our goal is to train our mind to process and allot information to us in ways that leave us settled and peaceful, with no regrets.

Understanding that this is what happens, and then learning how to stop it has been the work of Buddhist monks almost 3000 years. The most prominent monks who wrote and codified the workings of the mind so that we could understand it and retrain it for the benefit of all beings were Asanga and Vasubandhu, brothers in the fourth century. 

Today neuroscientists are starting to unpack how all this happens, “empirically” to use their word, to test what Asanga and his brother observed “subjectively” It is abundantly clear from both the “empirical” and the “subjective” sides here that our mind doesn’t function to make us happier and healthier, which is the way it presents itself to us, but rather to leave us regretting either not having enough of some things (the ones the amygdala attached an affinity to) or regretting getting too much of others (the ones to which an aversion was assigned). The question is no longer about the validity of the teachings; the questions is simply one of experiencing them in a way that allows acceptance: acceptance of the Two Truths, acceptance of the Five Aggregates, acceptance of the Four Dharma Seals, acceptance of Dependent Arising.

The goal of our path and our practice, which comes from this acceptance, is to live a life without regrets, to live a life in which the world too has no regrets. We do this in three ways. First, we learn to understand that the information our mind is sending us is false and foolish, mostly pre-cognitive nonsense. Second, we learn to act in ways that make us mindful and aware instead of reflexive and reactive. And third, we commit ourselves to a regular meditation practice so that we can off-load four millions years of fictional beliefs and stories (sankharas) that are driving us and the world to regret.

In a phrase, this is “changing our karma.” As we become practiced and successful at this in the short term, we gradually become more and more peaceful and less and less regretful. As we succeed in the long term, we end our karma, the negative and nonsensical thrust that pushes us forward. Although we don’t usually write in such traditional and blunt phrasing, the goal of our practice is to end regrets by ending our karma. Ending our karma simply means ending the ability of our sankharas to drive our behavior. Without the amygdala in charge we become present to what is really happening, fully engaged with the world as it is. We become open to whatever arises, with a warm and respectful heart. We are awake, mindful and aware, which is our true nature, and then it’s over.

A "No Regrets" Thanksgiving and New Year

I Have No Regrets, and the World Too Has No Regrets

As we give thanks and approach the New Year, consider this as a contemplative meditation: “I have no regrets and the world has no regrets.”

These words indicate the essence of the way we should practice and view the world.

As we go through in life we notice very very very little is as we might wish it to be, and this applies equally to individuals, to any particular social groups or organizations, to society and even to the world as a whole. Moreover, throughout history, human beings have always been embroiled in the profound dilemmas of impermanence: birth, old age, sickness and death; and of desires that lead us to ceaselessly harm others!

Although many heroes and saints and prophets have arisen to alleviate human suffering, still, in comparison to the vastness of human sorrow their efforts really amount to no more than a cupful of water poured on a burning building. Strictly speaking, our heroes and saints end up "dying before their ambition is fulfilled."

Rather than filling ourselves with ambitions and resolutions, consider instead committing to a year of contemplating: I have no regrets, and the world too has no regrets.

How so? Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit down in a comfortable chair and quiet your mind with a few long deep but gentle breaths. Make the inhalation shorter than the exhalation. Allow your body to settle down and your back and bottom to become one with the chair. Then address yourself to the meaning of the contemplation: I have no regrets, and the world too has no regret.

Find a pattern in which you can think analytically about the contemplation. You might, for example, consider the meaning of the two clauses separately [“I have no regrets” and “the world has no regrets], then together. Or you might choose to parse the words: what are regrets, what does it mean to have no regrets; no regrets for me, for the world, what are the synonyms and antonyms for “no regrets,” etc.? Alternatively, you can parse by contemplating the meanings of the subjects of the clauses [ “I” and “world”] relative to the no-regret-statement.

Another perspective for the contemplation is through impermanence. Since we know that everything, even us ourselves, is impermanence and ever changing; since we know that nothing is autonomous or permanent or existing independently from its own side; since we know that, at the very least, stuff is simply not as it appears to us. Therefore, while there are conditions to which we need to respond, with wisdom and right action, there really are no problems! Since there are no problems, how can we have any regrets?

Familiarizing yourself with the five aggregates (skandhas) is another way of contemplating this: familiarize yourself with what each of the five is and does, how they sequence, and which are pre-cognitive and which are cognitive. This practice that can open up your heart with gratitude and welcome in the New Year with a roadmap for a better and more peaceful life, for you and for the world.

As the New Year approaches, consider committing to a practice, to a thoughtful and studied life, in which you can say, moment after moment, day after day, “I have no regrets!” and simultaneously and intuitively feel that the world is in the same boat as you: it too has no regrets.

Email if you have any questions or want more information on this practice.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy New Year.

The Two Truths

The Two Truths

A Brief Philosophic Introduction

Regard all dharma as dreams….

The Two Truths is one of the most fundamental teachings in Buddhism today, and yet it is barely even mentioned in the early scriptures (the Pali Canon or the Agamas). It wasn’t until Nagarjuna’s writing in the 4^th century, a thousand years after the Buddha’s death, that the idea took hold. This is, perhaps, because The Two Truths is more an understanding about reality than it is a “teaching.” Or perhaps it was just that a thousand years was needed for Buddhism to develop so that conditions allowed it this teaching to arise. Whatever the reason, the more we learn about The Two Truths, the more we practice with and them realize them experientially, the less dukkha we create and the less suffering there is in our life.

The Two Truths explain that there are two levels of reality: the conventional and the ultimate. The conventional is the everyday world, full of objects and beings and ideas that all seem “true,” autonomous, and separate from us. This is the way our senses feed us information: I see the plant, I am here, it is there, I am independent and existent and substantial, it is independent and existent and substantial, we are each separate and autonomous and, at least at this moment, permanent. What I believe about the plant is true: if I think it is a good plant, it is a good plant. If I think it is too big for where it is placed in the hall, it is too big; if I then move it to the corner of the living room, it becomes too small. I don’t see that it can’t be too big and a moment later too small unless it is not really permanent and substantial.

The ultimate truth is the more profound (deeper philosophic) understanding that all things are things are impermanent, interconnected (dependently originated), non-self (empty of any inherent nature). The ultimate nature of things, in a word, is emptiness. It is things as they are, before we reify them, before we impute them with a concrete, independent, material existence; before we assign them meaning and value–good/bad, too big/too small.

You can’t have one without the other, ultimate without conventional, though it often seems that way when we begin to learn about these two truths. In fact, the learning process takes us from thinking each of these two truths is independent to understanding the two operate together, to finally realizing that they are one.

Philosophically, by positing that there are two levels of reality, we are suggesting that there is something which is sub-dividable, something that can be categorized in two ways.

So you can ask yourself, "What are we sub-dividing?" and the answer is “a knowable object.” Here, a knowable is simply something that is existing. To exist means to be knowable, and to be knowable means to exist. But not everything that “is known” exists.

In fact, just because it is “known” doesn’t mean it exists. I could fabricate the idea a rabbit with antlers, a jackalope. Taxidermists in the West often create these trophy animals for the amusement of their customers and to poke fun at “city folk.” I could fabricate this awareness, and in that sense rabbit's antlers are something known, but they certainly don't exist. And to someone caught in the joke, jackalopes are just as real as if they did in fact exist in the prairie.

When we equate things that exist with things that are known, we mean that they are known by a valid awareness, a valid conventional consciousness. Obviously, this can be tricky. Our obligation, therefore, is to see as clearly as we can so that our awareness is as valid an awareness and as correct a conventional consciousness as possible. We should also note that validity is not determined by the number of individuals who might believe something or claim an awareness of it: even though the Greeks and later the Alexandrians has accurately measured the circumference of the earth, from the time of Christ until Columbus, Europeans chose to believe the world was flat.

So if a person makes a statement that mirrors reality, then that statement is true. If it does not mirror reality, it is a lie. “Lie” is a very strong word. One could instead say it is a “fiction.” But “lie” is important to use because lying to ourselves about the nature of reality is the source of all our suffering.

Our biggest baddest lie is that we and other things are permanent, autonomous, and exist inherently; that we are independent and separate from everything else, which is independent and separate from us. When I look at a tree, I say to myself: “I see the tree.” The way the mind processes that sense contact, it presents the information to me as if there is a me that is separate and autonomous and a tree that is separate and autonomous. Believing that, believing that we are separate and autonomous, believing that there is Someone or Something, is the big lie, and the source of all our suffering.

In fact nobody or nothing, anywhere, has anything that inherently makes it what it is. Nothing has its own personal mark. Everything exists simply through language, through ideas.
 The absence of something, the total absence, the total not-being, non-existence of anything that is not there through the power of language and thought is, emptiness, the ultimate truth.

So far this has been a serious, if partial and introductory look at the meaning of The Two Truths. So why is this concept so important? What does it mean on an everyday level?

1. Not understanding The Two Truths means we believe the information that is coming at us is complete and true. We believe that our perception of the world is correct; we believe our stories about these experiences are true. So we act from that place with confidence causing ourselves more and more suffering.

2. When we act from a wrong perception, and invalid conventional consciousness, or a limited perception; when we don’t see clearly that there is a conventional world and an ultimate reality, we cause a vast network of interrelated problems to arise, we cause ourselves to suffer.

Practicing with The Two Truths

Not Believing What Our Mind Tells Us

The simplest and easiest tool to apply The Two Truths to our everyday life is to simply remember not to believe anything our minds tell us. If my mind tells me I should be upset because there is a ding in the door of “my car,” I need to recognize that there is simply a chip in the paint on a piece of plastic and that it might need to be repaired, but not believe stories I have created about it: “This always happens to me,” as though some force of the universe conspires against me and my car to make me upset, or “I hate it when people are so dishonest that they don’t even leave a note when they ding your car door,” which assumes they even knew they had dinged the door, which might not be true, and assumes that they planned to do it to me, which is nonsense, they don’t even know me; or “The door is ruined; I’ll never be able to afford to get it fixed,” etc.

These stories appear to be known, but in fact are lies because they do not mirror reality.

Yes, there’s a chip in the paint; yes, it might need to be repaired at some point. But we don’t need to define it as a personal problem or as an assault against us personally.

Simpler said than done? Not really; not once you have practiced it for a while. In fact; it is easier done than said.

Laughing At Our Stories

Another perspective on this practice is simply to notice when you are getting irritated or annoyed or upset or angry or depressed and to ask yourself, what story is causing me this dukkha now? In the example of the ding in the car door, the story is: my car door should never get a ding, it should always be as pristine as it was the moment I bought it. Other people can get dings and scratches, that’s ok, but not me. All our stories, if we are seeing what is really happening in our minds, as silly and self-centered. Seeing this, we can laugh at the story, and that laugh takes all the sting out of it.

What Is Our Practice?

A Brief Overview

Our own plight, in everything we do, is to reduce our discomfort and to gain a sense of happiness. It’s omnipresent; it’s why we scratch an itch and why we have children and why we start wars. On more nuanced levels, it is why we love, and why we grieve.

Once we understand this we can begin the real spiritual work that will free us from suffering. Once we fully realize this, we see clearly that everyone everywhere is trying, virtually always unsuccessfully and often very unwisely, to do the same thing: to avoid dukkha–to avoid the discreet discomfort of minor situations–little dukkha–to avoid the deep physical and psychological pain of intense situations–big dukkha–over and over, time and again and again, moment after moment. Deeply understanding this, we realize that our suffering and the suffering of all beings is linked, interdependent and interrelated, directly and indirectly.

The more deeply we believe this, the less self-centered we can be and the more other-centered we become; the more patient, compassionate and generous we allow ourselves to be. Eventually, our primary goal becomes one of being of benefit to others because nothing else makes sense. As we move in this direction, our self-centered mindstates weaken and fall away. Anger in its myriad forms from irritation to rage, and even depression, all self-centered mindstates, weaken and fall away.

To make this sift, we must overcome the three poisons: (1) our predisposition to want more of what we like and less of what we don’t, (2) the frustration at never being able to get and keep–or remove and keep away–enough, and (3) our understanding of ourselves as separate and autonomous. To overcome these poisons (greed, anger and delusion), we must overcome our sense of Self, for it is the stories of who we are, which are our Self–our ego–that poison us.

One way to do this is to get a handle on emptiness and to stay with it. The more deeply we understand, contemplate, and study emptiness, the more the three poisons and their corollaries (fetters) and stories just drop away.

The most fundamental and essential way to learn about emptiness is to study the relationship between dependent origination and emptiness. The study is aimed at learning that dependent origination and emptiness aren’t different, but neither are they the same; that one implies the other yet they are not two and not one. For many, learning about no-self or non-self is a useful first step in this direction.

Emptiness allows us to understand that things do not inherently exist, which is the way they appear to us, but rather exist only nominally as we impute them. Ultimately this allows us to see that everything is interdependent, imputed by the mind but not from the mind only.

This means we need to combine both right ethical behavior (like giving, morality, patience, diligent effort, compassion, etc.) and wisdom (the realization of the emptiness of self, other and action, and of their inseparability) so that the inseparability of the Two Truths becomes clear: the affirmation that everything is not existent, not non-existent, not both, and not neither.

The Buddha never taught emptiness. The word “emptiness” barely even appears in 11,000 or so early scriptures of the Agamas or Pali Canon. Yet this teaching has become, as the Venerable Master Yin Shun writes: “perhaps the most profound and important theory of the entire Buddhadharma.” Approach it gently and it will open itself up for you revealing the wonders of the Middle Path.

Understanding Kindness, Really Really Understanding Kindness

The Kindness of All Living Beings

If I want no more or less than what I am given,

Then whatever I am given, by any living being, is supreme kindness.

What the tenets of Buddhism, and emptiness in particular, are suggesting is that until we understand that each and every living being is supremely kind to us, we cannot really understand how to relate to others (see previous blog on Relationships Without Attachment). Until we understand this in our hearts and minds–without hesitation, without reservation, without exception–the compassion which is at our core is unable to arise spontaneously and so we suffer unnecessarily.

It’s not that the belief “each and every living being is supremely kind to me” is true or not true. It is, from the Buddhist point of view, simply a perspective we need to work from.

For the sake of this blog and its exercises, just take the statement “Each and every living being is supremely kind to me” at its surface value. (1) Don’t think about changing any of the words; consider them non-negotiable. (2) Don’t try parsing the words into a meaning you like better. (3) Don’t think about connotations and denotations: whether spiders and trees are living beings, for example; whether each and every has to mean all, without even a single exception. (4) And don’t don’t get hung up on the act or action that another might do, simply sidestep that issue for now–eventually it will become clear why it is unimportant.

Consideration One

Consider that all our day-to-day needs are provided through the kindness of others. We brought nothing into this life, yet, the moment we were born, we were given what we needed–all provided through the kindness of others. Don’t drift off message here into thinking the it-would-have-been-better-ifs. Don’t drift off into the how it-should-have-beens. Simply consider how kind the universe is to have provided us with an infrastructure.

Seriously contemplate this understanding: Everything we now enjoy has been provided through the kindness of other beings, past or present.

Consider all the ways that is true. Consider how we are able live and move about in this life with very little effort on our own part. If we consider facilities such as roads, cars, trains, airplanes, ships, houses, restaurants, hotels, libraries, hospitals, shops, money and so on, it is clear that many people worked very hard to provide these things. Even though we make little or no contribution towards the provision of these facilities, they are all available to us and for us through the great kindness of others.

Consider how our general education, even the language or languages in learn, and our spiritual training were and continue to be provided by others. All of our realizations and insights into how to live are and were attained in dependence upon the kindness of others. Even our ability to learn to be more peaceful, to practice meditation and Buddhism, is available to use through the kindness of others.*

This supreme kindness of each and every living being is the gateway through which we see the unmitigated need to feel and realize compassion for all living beings. It is the gateway through which we develop this compassion by relying upon the understanding that because of the supreme kindness of all living beings, each and every living being is and should be an object of our compassion.

It is through the great kindness of all living beings that we have the opportunity to live better and more peacefully, and to make our family and friends and the world a better, more peaceful place, and to attain the supreme happiness that comes from enlightenment. Keeping ourselves in this perspective, it is clear that for us all living beings are supremely kind and precious.

From the depths of our hearts, then, we should contemplate Consideration Two (below). To do this, write out the contemplation so you can have it with you. Often during contemplations, the words morph into another meaning. Having it in writing with you will prevent this. Go for a half-hour walk, preferably outside in a park or field. Why outside? Because that’s where you will encounter other living beings whose presence will strengthen your contemplation. During the walk, let you body settle into the earth, feel your feet grounding you, develop a mindful awareness of your surroundings, and think about Consideration Two: validate it from every angle you can; consider its deeper meanings, and sense who you would become if indeed you unquestionably and wholeheartedly cherished every living being. Also, think about what effect this would have on you and your family and friends and your colleagues and the planet.

Consideration Two

Each and every living being is supremely kind to me. I cherish each and every living being.

Understanding and thinking in this way, we generate a warm heart and a feeling of being equally close to all living beings without exception. By continually contemplating and meditating on these two considerations, we maintain an open and warm heart and a feeling of being close to each and every living being, all the time, in every situation, without exceptions.

This is our practice, to continuously maintain an open and warm heart and a feeling of being close to each and every living being, all the time, in every situation, without exception. To maintain this open heart, this mind of universal compassion and love, we train ourselves in this new perspective through contemplation. The more we see all living beings as supremely kind to us the more we will spontaneously cherish them all. The deeper our understanding of this becomes, the broader our definition of “all livings beings” becomes, and the more and more peaceful and happy we find ourselves.

To continuously maintain an open and warm heart and a feeling of being close to each and every living being, all the time, in every situation, without exception, is the answer to the question: how do I relate to others without attachment? We relate to each and every one of them with compassion. We simply cherish each and every one of them.

There are others ways to reason the validity of this every-living-being-is-supremely-kind-to-me practice. Two of the most common are (1) understanding that everything I do is to relieve my suffering, then everything everyone else does is to relieve their suffering, therefore, regardless of the act, then whatever anyone is doing is an act of kindness so I must respond compassionately; and (2) if we see the actions of others, regardless of what they are, as simple opportunities for us to practice being unconditionally compassionate, then we can understand any action as an act of kindness.

This does not mean that all acts are to be condoned or approved. Obviously many acts are unwise and unskillful, like lying and stealing, and at the extremes, like child abuse and killing. What these contemplations suggest is that we can see past the specific acts and our labeling and judging of them, and when we do, a profound new level of peacefulness arises from within and anger and depression fall away.